Turntable Tribulations, by The Margaret Hooligans

Turntable Tribulations

by The Margaret Hooligans

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1.	Oh Lord Hit It 05:16	lyrics	buy track
Oh Lord hit it Hey Said you weren't going to dress for the party Fucking it up fucking it up You said it made you look downhearted Fucking it up she's always fucking it up Walking around cocktail in your hand Fucking it up she's always fucking it up Hit it now Thought you were the leader of the band Fucking it up she's still fucking it up Never wanted to do harm Always coasting on your charm Ohh Reciting your lines, your daily excuses Fucking it up she's still fucking it up For your latest thoughtless abuses Fucking it up always fucking it up The bottle leaves you no more ruses Never wanted to do harm Always coasting on your charm Domestic life ain't for you No no no no No no no no no no yes Never gonna keep you down Oh but sir this actually happened to me Fucking it up fucking it up fucking it up Fucking it up fucking it up fucking it up Can't do right always do wrong Even when you try The more you try the worse it gets Fucking it up Never gonna keep you down Never gonna lift me up Down Never gonna keep you down Never gonna lift me up Down Never gonna keep you down Never gonna lift me up Never gonna keep you down down down Never gonna lift me up I say Never wanted to do harm Always coasting on your charm Domestic life ain't for you… no no no no No no no no no no Ohhh Keyser soze Get off the bad foot Ding dong ding dong Kinky kong Kong kong kong kong Regal my beagle Stanley Oh Lord Check it
2.	Good Morning Micro Man 03:59	lyrics	buy track
Now He's so bossy So so saucy C'mon and take it Good morning Micro Man Tell me about your five year plan Saw your fleet of electric cars Have fun driving to Mars Micro Man Why you gotta be this way Always gotta save the day Juiced up on your steroid ginseng Spent your lunch diddling your thing Why you gotta raise the dead Dad's jibes won't leave your head It still sticks in your craw Never threw you a baseball You always want more than your due Nothing's ever good enough for you Ever lasting life is what you lust The Micro Man the Micro Man But boy you must return to dust Micro micro micro man Sonny boy there was a time Those who dosed sought the sublime You trippin' on my balls moon raker For you it's to gain an edge To divine what fund to hedge Angel investor, forward march Bend others to your will Salute the FaceCrook Or the score goes back to nil Standing in Daddy's legacy Biohacker insert anal pellet now You'll never be fancy free You always want more than your due Nothing's ever good enough for you Ever lasting life is what you lust The Micro Man The Micro But boy you must return to dust Micro Man Micro Micro Micro a-ha Good morning Micro Man What's for tea Micro Man Tell us about your latest scam Crush the revolt with a tweet Hey canary bird Your masterpiece is complete Oh Micro Man Oh Micro Man Here we go
3.	Red Rider 04:12	lyrics	buy track
They said you weren't to be trusted I just laughed and handed you my things And I was warned but took no heed And now I am sorry oh so sorry The belly of the beast is warm but dark The acids eat away at my spark I cry for help but no one hears me It just sounds like laughing to their ears I am lost Can no one find me I am cross Can no one cheer me I was on a merry go round I was crawling around Crawling around Crawling around I don't want you coming round here no more Don't need you sniffing around my door Those wolf eyes won't work on me no more I can't fall for it I can't fall I am lost Can no one find me I am cross Can no one cheer me When the axeman delivered me the knife I didn't cut once but thrice The light dissolved the film on my eyes I was on a merry go round I was crawling around Crawling around Crawling around I won't see him again I I am free I am free I I am free I am free I I am free I am free now I am free I am free I am free I am free
4.	Fat Tongue 04:51	lyrics	buy track
I think we got a problem And I think I know the cause There's a river of nonsense And I think I found its source You got a fat tongue Fat tongue Fat one Fat tongue And it's going to kill you in your sleep Someone musta dropped you on your head Because you can't stop talking trash Shut your pie hole You sound like Darth Vader when you go to bed And no one wants to know your name You got a fat tongue Fat tongue Don Jr. I am not your father Fat one Fat tongue You got a fat tongue on you You know you really can't shut up You're always talking out yo ass Shut yo asshole You piss off everyone around you You got a fat tongue on ya You got a fat tongue Fat tongue Fat one Fat tongue You got a fat tongue on you Doctor what you gonna do Doctor I don't know Doctor what do you suggest What is your prescription man Hey drummer That's me How do we get this royal fat ass to shut up Oh I know how Do you have a concrete solution mister I got a feeling in my bones mother freaker Feeling in my bones I'm gonna get that son of a bitch With the feeling in my bones Keep your tongue in your mouth Please keep your tongue in your freaking mouth Keep your tongue in your mouth Keep that tongue in your mouth That's my plan My plan is to tell you My plan is to tell you to keep your tongue Keep that tongue in your mouth Keep your tongue in your mouth Why you always wagging that tongue Ain't you got nothing nice to say Your Momma shoulda told you how To keep your tongue in your mouth Fat tongues are all around you Spreading their poison about I'm gonna put my headphones on So I don't have to hear you Fat tongue Fat tongue Fat tongue Fat tongue Fat tongue Shut your piehole You gotta fat tongue Fat tongue Shut ya asshole You gotta fat tongue Fat tongue Shut ya blowhole Sh sh sh shove it where the moon don't shine You know you really can't shut up You're always talking out yo ass You piss off everyone around you You got a fat tongue on ya You got a fat tongue Fat tongue You got a fat one You got a fat tongue And it's going to kill you in your sleep Someone musta dropped you on your head Because you can't stop talking trash Shut ya pie hole You sound like Darth Vader when you go to bed And no one wants to know your name You got a fat tongue You got a fat one You got a fat tongue You got a fat tongue on ya
5.	Pete and Roger 03:50	lyrics	buy track
They met in school Nobody's fool They made a bet To smash the city Crush the country Plans were set Had their doubts No A&R scouts For Elvis they were not One small with jutting jaw The other a big nose full of snot But they made hay As the Detours found their way But the tour became a bore They wanted more Pete Pete Pete Pete Rog Rog Rog Rog Mods and rockers Scooters and choppers Pick a side Aces faces Moon's manic thunder Future open wide Pictures of Lily Not so silly Write a quick one while he's away Woodstock is stoked Won't go broke Rock opera wizards they ruled the day But paradise won't last You can't relive the past When you reach your dreams There's a price to pay To pay To pay Pete and Roger Pete and Roger Pete and Roger Pete and Roger Ukulele Ukulele Ukulele Ukulele Pete and Roger Pete and Roger Pete and Roger Pete and Roger Play every day Pete and Roger Pete and Roger Pete and Roger Pete and Roger Stay that way Pete and Roger Pete and Roger Pete and Roger Pete and Roger Play for me today Pete and Roger Pete and Roger Pete and Roger Pete and Roger Stay always Ohhhh The fragile peace is blown Insults hurled Punches thrown Trust is shot Though it's not The end of their song Windmill armbone Lasso microphone Shattered speaker cone Knees would quake Baba wasteland Join together Slip kid nation Ears need a break Keith and John Too long gone Those old bones They'd never make Now only two Stand tall No tea or sympathy Needed at all Never to lose Their might Cause the kids were alright Alright Alright Ukulele Ukulele Ukulele Ukulele Those kids those kids were alright Townshend Daltrey Those kids were alright Pete and Roger Pete and Roger Those kids were alright I don't mind All those guys dancing with Milton Berle
6.	Feedback 03:55	lyrics	buy track
I didn't ask for your feedback I don't care to hear what you have to say Every little whine you make Just makes me want to go away Do you ever listen to your words What do you think about them now Before you open that mouth of yours Think about who's going to hear it first Sticks and stones break my bones Sticks and stones break my bones Sticks and stones break my bones If I wanted to know what you thought I would a put a comment box on my sleeve You could leave me a little note And I'd punch it back down your throat But your words they always hurt me Sticks and stones break my bones Sticks and stones They always hurt me You know what they say about opinions They've got a lot of fans Everybody's got 'em just like assholes And now we're all talking out our woooh If I wanted to hear you say it I would ask the question Why can't you think before you spray it You're getting your spit all over me Alright alright alright Sticks and stones... Didn't your mom ever teach you How to use your words Make them sweet and gentle Or I'll make you eat your turds I know you want me to feel bad for you I know you want something to be true I know you want to feel part of the crowd But the crowd isn't up your alley and it's much too loud for you Owww They break my bones I don't want your feedback I don't want your feedback They never hurt me I don't want your feedback I don't want your feedback
7.	Bippity Boppity 06:08	lyrics	buy track
Sing a song discordant Sing it oh so fine Feed it to your followers They eat the view divine Watch you with distaste Watch you with ice cream Watch you from the safe distance Of their LCD screens Judges on a throne From their bathroom Watch you from the basement Watch you on the moon You’re the new Truman Show Watch it as I go Ham it up for the camera Better than 80s blow Dance little monkey Give me a serenade I’m a media junkie You’re the leader of this parade This ain’t no fine romance I will swipe when I’m bored Make every moment tantalize Make every note soar Bippity Boppity Bippity Boppity Bippity Boppity Boo Bippity Boppity Bippity Boppity Bippity Boppity Boo But don’t don’t hem me in Don’t don’t hem me in Don’t don’t hem me in Do you like the way I comb my hair Do you like my selfie stare What pleases you feeds you makes you care Should I dance in a hat prance with my cat Confess my flaws for your casual apathy I’ve never tried this much Your eyes a substitute for touch Validation in colorful emojis Your constant need for more To settle some unseen score Is draining the life from me Are you getting a little shy Is it hard to eat while I cry You used to live to watch my misery I’ve peeled off all my layers All my shame for you to see Now you watch the other bitch on Channel 3 What more could I do Lay prostrate in front of you What more of me could you want to see I used to own myself All my thoughts and no one else Could see me through the damn TV screen I don’t need you won’t let you watch while I chew No more witnesses to my daily living I lost the thread of what’s inside Stretching too far wide Bending backwards to forever please you I live for myself Don’t need your gaze no nothing else Keep your two bit thoughts to yourself You’ve forgotten me but I can finally see Now the digital gaze has left me Something’s coming but there’s no you Something’s coming but there’s no you Something’s coming Something’s coming
8.	I've Got Something to Say 05:04	lyrics	buy track
I've got something to say She's got something to say I’ve got something to say Tell me Before you step away It might make your day To know I’m going your way I’ve got something to say If you care to listen It might make you happy If you know the way I can't hear you I can't see you Will you talk to me? I got something You need to listen You got time? Cuz I’ve got things to say Help me out I can’t hear you There’s no more bullshit I need a friend Get off my back Get off my back Get off Get off my back Get off Get off my back Get off Get off my back Get off I don't want you on my back Can't run no more with this monkey on my back Can't run no more with this monkey on my back Can't run no more Can't run no more I got something Yeah I got something I got something I got it I got something to say But not today Find the time Find the line Find the time Find the line I’ve got something to say Before you step away It might make your day To know I’m going your way I’ve got something to say If you care to listen It might make you happy If you know the way He’s got something to say You got something to say She’s got something to say But no one wants to listen Shouting at the corners Screaming out the window We forgot to listen We forgot we need a friend Ohhh Here's what I have to say I'd like to eat an eel today The man says no eels today They're sold out, no eels today I missed my chance to eat an eel Today
9.	Psycho Diapers 11:14	lyrics	buy track
What is he doing He's smiling What is he doing He's crying He can't control his feelings Now there's flames licking the ceiling Dad has an important job Can't be bothered with this child Send him away where he can stay He won't set any more fires this way He's gotta go To a special home He's gotta go To a special home At the school for troubled boys He finds his own special joy A politician's son Can always get it done He charms his way with teachers He's got the bead on preachers The kids line up to do his bidding He always has to be winning He's no fool He plays it cool He's no fool He rules the school He's no fool He's a little cruel (Hey Scarecrow! You're listening to Amish Hip Hop in Paradise! Mr. Potter, go to Smallfish and turn your music into magic!) Come with me Come celebrate The world is ours to adjudicate The offer won't last don't hesitate You can line your pockets While you stir their hate (Bad things happen in Philadelphia, it's a very sour city) Take a ride in my motorcade You can see in their eyes they need this serenade You will want for nothing in this world parade Just stick with me boy, you've got it made I've got a gold, I've got a gold touch Everything you want boy Is at your grasp They can read in your eyes You don't need to ask Your wishes are at their command Try it out, you'll soon understand I've got a gold, I've got a gold touch I've got a gold, I've got a gold touch All he needed was his love Just a little of his love All he needed was a hug from his daddy Now he's a monster (Where did you get them slacks? You got them at T.J. Maxx? T.J.'s, yes! Where did you get that shiny guitar? You got it at Jon Taffer's Rock n' Roll Rescue Bar! Clean up this filthy drum set or I won't save your jazz ensemble!) Do you think I'm impressed by you Just cuz you rule the school Fools are they Simps and rubes They don't know what's cool If you want to get with me You need to prove yourself They said you were wicked and free When they sent you here (Pied pipers wear their psycho diapers Blowing for their nesting vipers baby) We could be Hellions for a new age Feared and free We could set the stage Come with me It takes nothing to be brave They set the trap He's been ensared A fool to fall in love Let's follow the plan As we've prepared Our fall guy will be removed Sold him down, down Down the river Put him in a social isolation chamber He has no friends No allies to support him Don't mess with us The Hellions of Barnubias (When you're eating a McRib you better be wearing a McBib, or that meat will splatter all over your body, all over your body) I used to worry About kissing you Now I worry About not kissing you I don't know what I've been told I just know that I've been sold I don't know what I don't know I've been lost in this place Climbing these four walls I don't know how to live alone Every day is the same When you feel this way And nothing ever changes They watched me climb I committed social suicide For a love that was untrue When all I wanted was you I don't know what I don't know I just know what I've been told I don't know what I don't know I just know that I've been sold I don't know what I don't know I don't know what I've been told I don't know what I don't know I just know that I've been sold I don't know what I don't know I just know what I've been told I don't know what I don't know I just know that I've been sold I don't know what I don't know I just know what I've been told I don't know what I don't know I just know that I've been sold I don't know what I don't know I just know what I've been told I don't know what I don't know I just know what I've been told I don't know what I don't know I just know that I've been sold I don't know what I don't know I don't know what I don't know I don't know what I don't know I don't know what I don't know I just know what I've been told I don't know what I don't know I just know that I've been sold I don't know what I don't know I just know that I've been sold

about

This is The Margaret Hooligans second album, recorded in the basement of Piety Street Studios during the pandemic.

credits

released October 21, 2022

Meg Cratty: Lead Vox, Electric Ukuleles
Mr. Strontium: Drums/Percussion, Back Up Vox
Recorded at Piety Street Studios
Mixed and Mastered by Jon Huxtable of Smallfish Recordings, Edinburgh UK
Produced by Mr. Strontium
All songs written by The Margaret Hooligans ©2022 All Rights Reserved.

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The Margaret Hooligans Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

We are The Margaret Hooligans: One woman (electric ukulele, lead vocals), one man (drums, teapot, back up vocals), forming one band that incorporates garage rock, funk, and soul to create a swirl of sloppy transcendence.

themargarethooligans.com

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